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Dos and Don'ts of Custody Mediation

Custody mediation is a process that helps parents in a dispute come up with a parenting plan that meets the best interests of their child. It is often used as an alternative to a costly and time-consuming court case. Here are some dos and don'ts to keep in mind when going through custody mediation:


  1. Be prepared: Before going to mediation, make sure you have all the relevant documents, such as your child's school records and medical information. Also, prepare a list of topics you want to discuss and identify your goals for the mediation process.

  2. Be open to compromise: Mediation involves give and take. Be prepared to compromise on certain issues to reach a mutually acceptable solution.

  3. Focus on your child's best interests: Keep the focus on what is best for your child. Avoid getting sidetracked by personal attacks or irrelevant topics.

  4. Listen: One of the most important aspects of mediation is listening. Take the time to listen to the other parent's concerns and try to understand their perspective.

  5. Respect the mediator: The mediator is a neutral third party who is there to help you reach a resolution. Treat the mediator with respect and follow their instructions.


  1. Be hostile: Avoid being hostile or confrontational during the mediation process. This will only make it more difficult to reach a resolution.

  2. Involve your child: Custody mediation is a discussion for adults only. Avoid involving your child in the process or asking them to choose between you and the other parent.

  3. Use the process as a form of revenge: Custody mediation is not a place to get back at the other parent or to punish them. Keep the focus on what is best for your child.

  4. Interrupt: Interrupting the other parent can be counterproductive and can escalate the conflict.

  5. Be dishonest: Be truthful and honest during the mediation process. Dishonesty can undermine the trust that is necessary for a successful resolution.

In summary, custody mediation is a valuable tool for resolving disputes, but it requires preparation, good listening skills, and a willingness to compromise. By following these dos and don'ts, you can help ensure a successful custody mediation process that meets the best interests of your child.

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